This is Fergus Festus. For the very best of reasons, he is named after a town in Missouri.
Because I had asthma as a child, I grew up without dogs. I wasn’t allowed to pet a dog. Or visit a friend’s home if that home contained dogs. I wished with my whole being to someday share my life with a dog.
I have now had dogs most of my adult years and, thanks to extensive tutoring by those dogs, I’ve finally learned how to open my life fully to them. Ours has evolved into a crate-free, pet food-from-scratch, dog-forward sort of home.
I have loved many dogs, each for being completely themselves, but never had an animal companion quite like this one. He is the only dog I’ve known who gives long hugs with his cheek against us and his front legs around us.
He is even more so an eye contact creature. He searches for my gaze in that deep pool of openness way that baby’s eyes do. He gladly does his own thing while I work at my desk, but when I’m on the couch or the floor he stays on my lap as I read a book or talk or look at my phone. Even though I rest one hand on him, scratch him lightly, sometimes it is not enough.
Look at me ,he says, his thoughts almost clear as speech. I do. I look into his eyes and wonder what he’s thinking and say a few sweet words to him and rub his little body, then go back to what I was doing.
No, he says. Really look. So I do, I really do.
I look and see a little ways beyond looking. I sink into the quiet awareness he offers any time I can settle myself into it. He’s not demanding attention, he’s giving it. He’s not seeking love, he is tutoring me in love’s mutuality.
As we gaze at each other I can’t help but draw in a deep breath and let out an even deeper exhale. This is what presence feels like. It’s an entry into the space/no space between us that Buber called I and Thou.
We’re all aware terror is being stoked and terror is happening in the US and around the world. I pay attention to news from a variety of sources. I do what I can to push back. But I simply can’t face it constantly. I find refuge in the powerful healing energy of stories written and shared in my writing classes. I find refuge in family gatherings, with the faces and voices of the people I love filling our home. I find it in quiet rituals of morning coffee with the spouse, taking walks, preparing meals. I find it in good books and good conversation. I find it sitting quietly with my guru.
How are you finding refuge in these times?
Laura Grace Weldon 
So generously detailed in its description, this goes way beyond the “I love my dog” genre to something deep and real. How lucky to have this kind of love in your life. God bless Fergus’s work in this world.
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Thank you for seeing the realness. And thank you for the blessing.
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This is my reply to “How do you cope in these times?” When there’s the opportunity, I avoid people, strangers and family. I am getting involved in astronomy because I want to be involved in discovering that meteor that is going to plough Earth into the Sun. Part of an Ancient poem discovered in Mesopotamia states: “Where there is life, There only, too, is evil.” That is, Earth is the only planet in the Solar System that is cursed.
Esme.
Wednesday 29 October 2025. abahkhan@protonmail.com.
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I am an introvert myself, so I understand the need to retreat. It’s peaceful isn’t it? There’s no scientific evidence I’ve seen that a meteor sizeable enough to endanger Earth has been identified. As for that ancient poem — over and over the extinction of humanity has been predicted, yet here we are. I hope you can walk on into your days with peace despite your fears. All we have are the moments we feel fully alive.
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I would love to hear how you’ve been able to live with your dog without asthma troubles! I too had asthma (and allergies growing up) and it’s been one of my main obstacles to getting a dog for my own family.
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I no longer suffer with regular asthma attacks. Instead, unsure why, I have developed a whole constellation of food and drug allergies, but my reaction to dog dander has gone way down. We currently have two poodles, a breed with hair rather than fur (I recognize that allergies to dogs have more to do with canine saliva than canine fur). I don’t seem to have a problem with them, although I am still careful to wash my hands regularly and do my best to avoid letting them lick. It’s a worthwhile trade-off for me. I’d love to have cats as well but my cat allergies are far more severe and my extended family couldn’t visit if we had cats. There’s a lot to be said for outside animals if you can’t have indoor pets. We had cows for many years. I still miss their peaceful presence in our pastures.
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Refuge is at home with a child, 2 dogs, plants. Refuge is taking the time to look at clouds, be delighted by insects, by plant shadows on the path. Refuge is stopping to watch that group of native birds you don’t see all the time fly over.
Refuge is letting the grass grow because it’s a haven for moths and other insects. It’s planting trees in places that they should be. And watering ones that need it when it’s dry.
It’s noticing the steam that rises from my little strong coffee. It’s being able to ring any one of a handful of friends on a day when I feel unravelled. It’s noticing true quiet. It’s those unpractised seconds of no thought.
Refuge is stopping to read Laura Grace Weldon. And it’s choosing to write response to Laura Grace Weldon.
And yes, it’s looking into those kelpie dog eyes.
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Thank you for sharing your many small refuges in this beautifully written reply. I suspect, Anonymous, you are a poet.
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Thank you, Laura. I am not a poet ( unless accidentally ) but I am finding a deep well of words that can find each other when there is something important to write.
Cheers to you!
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What a beautiful love letter to such an amazing friend. I, too, have a dog (or perhaps the better term is the dog has me!) There is nothing like the love of and for a pet and I believe we are better people when we love a pet! (perhaps this is the reason for the days we are having…) Anyways, Franklin Delano Pug… Frankie is absolutely a calming factor in these days of complete and utter insanity. His companionship and love are the meditation of my days.
The other thing that I have found to be incredibly helpful is poetry. I am not quite sure how I would get through a day without a poem or ten. (And Frankie delights in listening to me read poetry out loud…truly, he has a preference for Billy Collins poems!)
Thank you so much for sharing about your friend, Fergus.
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I adore Franklin Delano Pug’s name! And a poetry loving dog at that. What a joy that FD Pug has you in his life and you have him in your life.
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I have come back to this piece several times. It reminds me of Psalm 46:1 in which God is described as both our refuge and our strength. Refuge is sustenance. It gives us strength to go on when all else feels out of our control. When we are feeling powerless, maybe the best thing we can do is to protect and celebrate our shelters. For me, it is my literal shelter. When all else fails or disappoints, I return to the familiarity of place and the comfort of the routines my mind and body have known for a lifetime. And there are people who give us shelter as I am also reminded of the Irish proverb: “It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.” This morning I read of a central Ohio restaurant, Bucci’s, offering free hot meals to families no questions asked with the tag line “Your children don’t need to know.” Refuge, shelter, each other…
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I am honored you’ve read this piece several times. Thank you for those quotes and your beautiful contemplations.
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