What do we really want when we offer gifts to our kids? I’m guessing excitement, happiness, hopefully some lasting joy. It’s disheartening to give a highly anticipated toy or the newest gadget, only to see it ignored a week or two later. The antidote? Fewer presents of better quality, as well as an emphasis on experiences. According to science, these are the gifts that result in real pleasure.
Real Tools for Real Work
Young kids beg to help out. Saying yes to those offers is more important than we might imagine and helps us raise kids who are more likely to take on household responsibilities as they get older. Rather than toy versions of tools, get them appropriately sized real tools (to use with supervision). You can get plenty of useful, not-too-large tools at your local hardware and home goods store. As kids get older, invest in adult-sized tools they can use for a lifetime. Starting at four years old we got our kids woodworking tools, plus gave them access to scrap wood. We also kept a stool handy for little kids to help at the counter, and whenever possible let them pour their own drinks from a tiny pitcher into a tiny cup during mealtimes—-cultivating coordination as well as a sense of involvement. When our oldest was three,and loved to turn machines on and off, we got him a hand vac as a gift. He used it for years, immediately on the scene to vacuum up crumbs like a man on a mission.
Woodworking tools: Rubber mallet, vintage manual hand drill , work gloves, level, safety glasses, tool belt, battery-powered drill, cordless screwdriver, tool box, plus books such as Builder Boards: How to Build the Take-Apart Playhouse, 14 Woodworking Projects For Parents and Kids To Build Together, and The Kids’ Building Workshop. For teens, more complex project books as well as power tools, adult-sized hand tools, a sturdy workbench, and the freedom to work on their own.
Kitchen-y enticements. Apron, egg slicer, small rolling pin, small pitcher, rotary egg beater, small mixing bowls,
Doodle by Stitch apron, safe Curious Chef knives, a step stool or adjustable kitchen helper stool. Engaging cookbooks like The Do It Myself Kids’ Cookbook, Twist It Up, and Kids’ First Cookbook. For teens, a high quality kitchen utensil of their own (a good chef’s knife is a classic gift) along with cookbooks they’ll be eager to test out such as Cooking for Geeks, The Everything College Cookbook, or a cookbook aimed at particular tastes.
Gardening tools: Seeds, small gloves, trowel, bucket, small rake and shovel, (there are lots of child-sized tools at For Small Hands), containers to start indoor plants from sprouting vegetables like sweet potatoes, a kit to grow sprouts for salads and stir fries, books such as Gardening Lab for Kids and Gardening Projects for Kids. Teens with horticultural interests will appreciate adult-sized tools, gift certificates for seed companies, and specialty books.
Outdoor adventure tools: magnifying glass, collapsible cup
or collapsible water bottle , water bottle sling, spork, sleeping bag, flashlight, hand-warmers, vest with lots of pockets for gear
, binoculars, raincoat or rain parka, headlamp, compass, lantern, multi-tool. (Thanks to Gillian for these suggestions.)
Favorite lessons for one of my kids were surprisingly affordable one-on-one bagpiping lessons with a gentleman who’d once been Pipe Major for Scotland’s Black Watch.One-time or ongoing classes geared for enjoyment as well as competence can expand on an interest. For teens, one-on-one mentoring in an area of passionate interest is even better. Here are some ways you can connect teens to experts in all sorts of fields. Class ideas?
Membership or Season Passes
My oldest son was the youngest member of a model railroad club and almost never missed their regular meetings. Consider a membership to an organization that fits your child’s quirky passions. You might join local historical society, rock collector’s group, chess club, amateur archaeology organization, herpetology society, magician’s guild, whatever builds on a young person’s fascination. Be sure to read newsletters, attend classes, and otherwise enjoy member benefits. Other possibilities include:
One Time Passes
Make this a parent-child activity for young children, for older kids buy two or more passes so they can go with friends.
These are special occasions, ones that’ll stay in their memories. Don’t forget to take pictures when you arrive.
Out-of-the-Ordinary Things to do Together
These ideas are great coming from a parent, they may be even more thrilling coming from relatives who want to spend more one-on-one time with younger members of the family. Simply give materials, instructions, or brochures for something you’ll be doing together. When you give the gift, make sure to set a date!
Print out a recipe you’ve never tried, include ingredients, set a date to make it together.
Go on a train ride.
Make a fairy garden together. Gift a few supplies for the project, like a tiny watering can fairies might use.
Give a bunch of boxes along with the inspiration of Welcome to Your Awesome Robot or find even bigger boxes to throw a kids BYOB party (bring-your-own-box).
Give fabric markers and white or light-colored plain pillowcases (well-worn ones from thrift stores are perfect for this) to decorate your dreams with drawings, quotes, or wishes.
Take a road trip, maybe aiming to see oddball attractions in your state.
Give some beanbags and learn to juggle together.
Go on a hike. Give hike-related gear and maybe a book like My Nature Book or any of Jane Kirland’s books in the Take a Walk series
Go on a more challenging hike with teens, maybe take along a book like Wreck This Journal Everywhere.
Enjoy plein air art experiences together. You might want to give the youngest child a special tote bag to bring art supplies to the park, zoo, or local wildlife spot to draw or paint. For older youth, consider gifting a small sketchbook along with a compact set of watercolors, oil pastels, sketch pencils, or charcoal.
Try stand up paddle boarding together.
Take kayaking lessons together.
Give a roll of quarters to play at a place that still has arcade games.
Try geocaching. This modern-day treasure hunt is made possible with a GPS. Learn more at geocaching.com or navicache.com
Participate in a mud run scheduled in your area.
Construct an insect hotel together, you might pair it with a book like Insectigations. Teens may enjoy creating larger-scale insect habitat.
Build a clay oven together. Test it out by baking homemade pizza.
Give a bird feeder or binoculars, and sign up together to log your bird sightings at eBird or participate together in the Great Backyard Bird Count.
Give rubber stamps and a logbook to go letterboxing together. Learn more at letterboxing.org and atlasquest.com
Go cloud watching. Consult The Cloud Collector’s Handbook as you “collect” different cloud types. Post photos to the online gallery of the Cloud Appreciation Society.
Make treats for birds and animals including pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed, popcorn strings, and cranberry garlands. Then go outside to hang them on a tree together.
Mark cardboard squares with Scrabble letters for a giant game to be played outside.
Set aside open-ended project time together. Get inspiration from books such as Robotics, Tinkerlab, and Unbored.
Magazines are often the only things kids receive in the mail. (Although you can change this with strange and interesting ways to send snail mail.)
There are wonderful magazine for kids. For babies there’s Babybug, toddler to preschool ages consider Ladybug, National Geographic Little Kids, Click, and Ranger Rick Jr..
For elementary-age kids, New Moon Girls, Muse, Faces, and OWL.
Boomerang subscriptions are one of the best things ever and a favorite with my kids. We saved every one we got. It’s like a radio show wrapped up in an audio magazine, covered with a delicious layer of smart. Perfect to save for a long trip, great to pass along to younger siblings.
For teens, find a publication that meets their interests, whether hip hop or high fashion. Look for indie magazines if you can’t find something that’s just right.
Quality Musical Instruments
Real instruments, scaled for a child’s size, sound great and inspire interest. Even very young children can pluck along to sheet music tucked under the strings of a lap harp. For impromptu playing at my house we leave out a number of instruments including a wooden flute, set of panpipes, ukulele, small pentatonic scale harp, and a small accordion. And one of the best gifts we gave one of our sons was a much-desired, even if used, electric guitar when he turned 13. You might want to start with something affordable, such as a harmonica or ocarina. (Thanks to Silvia for suggesting instruments as gifts.) Here are some sources for child-sized instruments.
HearthSong lap harp and extra sheet music
Schylling accordian or Woodstock accordion
For Small Hands percussion instruments such as shakers and drums
Harps of Lorien child-sized or larger lyre
ocarinas and harmonicas
Woodstock chimes and children’s hand bells
Hohner guitars, variable sizes
Bella Luna pentatonic flute
Zither Heaven bowed psaltery or a Roosebeck psaltery
There’s something special about gifts you make. A snuggly fleece blanket, a second-hand riding toy with a custom paint job, a refinished child-sized rocking chair. You can find plenty of ideas online, but don’t forget these old standbys.
Homemade coupons they can “spend.”
- Get-out-of-one chore.
- Kid’s choice movie night.
- Stay up an hour past bedtime.
- Solo time with mom or dad all Saturday, kid’s choice of activities.
- Sleep-over party.
- After dark walk.
- Scary storytelling around a fire.
- A “yes” to any one project on Instructibles.com.
A dress-up trunk with lengths of fabric for capes, interesting hats, strange shirts and skirts, badges, belts, purses, jewelry, masks, and more.
Memorabilia to celebrate a teen’s birth. This is easier than ever with eBay. Find an issue of a magazine from the month of his or her birth. You might add music popular in that year, a political button, a piece of vintage clothing, etc.
A collection of family-favorite recipes. This is particularly useful for older teens. Just scan them and print out, or use one of the many services that prints hardbound books with your content.
A legacy present. If you’re lucky enough to have things from earlier generations, pass them on. Give grandpa’s fountain pen to your daughter, explaining that he loved to write as much as she does. Give a great uncle’s watch to a teen who shares his wanderlust. Give the funky afghan your aunt made to the kid who is as offbeat as she was. Tell them some stories about these relatives when you give such gifts!