Lament of an UnNerd

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Gray-haired guys in line ahead of me at the coffee shop text with casual ease, order fabulously complicated drinks and manage to pay in one smooth motion.

I’m too cheap to have texting as an option on my phone and too clumsy to text anyway. I’m not confessing anything about dropping change I meant to put in the tip jar or knocking over biscotti on display (although really, that display was clogging up counter space).

The upside of no texting? I read and write unimpeded at that same coffee shop while all around me tiny rectangles brrrr and thumbs tat in a display remarkably similar to old sci fi versions of humans controlled by robotic forces. The downside of no texting? I’m forced to leave voice mails on my cell phone. According to the hilarious (frightening) site How Not To Act Old leaving voice mail decidedly marks a person as well beyond their 20’s. Not a problem, the casual observer could tell that about me from my boring hair and tendency to knock over biscotti.

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My son’s 80-something bagpipe instructor pirates and shares music.

I still buy CD’s and don’t own an iPod. I’m glad that wind through the trees is the soundtrack to my daily walk, but really, if I got around to gathering music in handy digital form I’d spend forever assembling it. I’d cheerfully search out lost tracks from vastly unappreciated musicians like Frazier & Debolt. I’d linger over the task while choosing a ridiculous array of opera, Scandinavian folk and Mongolian throat singing. Then with my short attention span I’d probably weary of each piece after one listen.

Wind in the trees is free.

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And one last lament. Thank Gawd I live with tech support. I happen to love these people but their presence here is also vital to my work life. If I don’t get immediate help when trying to deal with simple problems like unzipping old files sent by certain maniacal interview subjects I tend to shriek at the blameless screen.

That scares the dogs sprawled at my feet, which activates my ever-ready guilt, forcing me right out of the house and off for a walk with wind as my soundtrack or, if the tech problem is really serious, off to a coffee shop where an innocent display is just waiting to tip over. Perhaps it’s a message that I should develop a taste for biscotti.

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Creative Commons images

texting thumbs courtesy of TheKat11 http://thekat11.deviantart.com/art/Texting-100020644

pirate image courtesy of mrs.mcD’s photostream flickr.com/photos/cordandme/492100572/

biscotti image courtesy of La Mia Cucina’s photostream  flickr.com/photos/25901168@N00/313577580/

About Laura Grace Weldon

Laura Grace Weldon is a writer and editor, perhaps due to an English professor's scathing denunciation of her writing as "curious verbiage." She's the author of "Free Range Learning," a handbook of natural learning and "Tending," a poetry collection. (lauragraceweldon.com) She's working on her next book, "Subversive Cooking" (subversivecooking.com). She lives on Bit of Earth Farm where she is a barely useful farm wench. Although she has deadlines to meet she often wanders from the computer to preach hope, snort with laughter, cook subversively, talk to chickens and cows, discuss life’s deeper meaning with her surprisingly tolerant offspring, sing to bees, hide in books, walk dogs, concoct tinctures, watch foreign films, and make messy art.
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2 Responses to Lament of an UnNerd

  1. Pingback: Lovely Words Vol. 9 – Writing as a Sacred Art

  2. grandma linda says:

    One un-nerd to another, biscotti is GOOD!

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